Friday, February 17, 2012
The love of a father
Prior to my salvation, my life was an emotional roller coaster. I'm no therapist and although I did attend a few sessions in my past, I never did the full 8 weeks that most say you need to even begin to heal. I did however, write in my diary. Since 7th grade, she has been my saving grace and my best friend. I could tell her anything. Not once has she betrayed my fears and insecurities, longings or daydreams.
I remember once telling her that I would one day find my birth father and that he was going to be so proud of me. I was going to have that happy ending that Antwan Fisher had in the movie. The part where he discovered that there was another family out there somewhere that resembled him.
I was right. My dad was out there, a six hour drive away. Not only that, but so was my little brother and sister. I have an Ohio and Michigan family and so much more. And boy do they love me. I miss them all the time and from day one, they've embraced me as if we grew up together from childhood. My dad calls me sweetheart and I've never felt so much love from a man, aside from my son and my Savior, Jesus Christ.
My dad adores me and having his love has truly enhanced my self esteem and gave wings to my dreams. To go home and lay on his sofa all day, watching TV and eating chocolate almond icecream is truly my bliss. We have a bond that no one can break and it seems as if it were always there, only it's gotten stronger over the years. He spoils me like crazy and we still cry when we say good-bye.
Strangely enough, I wanted to begin this post by saying, not only did my dad give me his forehead, his big hands, his mild case of OCD and his thyroid issues, he also gave me a sense of who I am in this world. He has given and continues to give me pure love. He makes me feel as though nothing I do can disappoint him and that anything I choose to do is achievable. He believes in me and having the love of a father, for me, is the one thing causes me to smile the way that I do. That and knowing that my Father in Heaven loves me just as much as the one down here.