Tuesday, September 23, 2014

From My Poetry Blog

I hope and pray that you are enjoying every moment of this life He's gifted you with.  Someone I care about is close to going home to be with the Lord.  We each have a day that we will leave this earth, known only by the one who created us.  And, until such time, I choose to bask in His Glorious sunlight and His Glorious Son's Light!

sent w/love free spirit butterfly <3>
Rohobeth Beach, Church By The Chesapeake annual women's retreat!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

100 Pics

I have joined my fellow blogger and brother in Christ, Wynn in a 100 picture journey.  We are taking a picture a day of the things that make us happy.  He is posting his on Facebook as am I.  However, since I like to turn my blogs into books, I am also posting mine on one of my other blog sites.  So, if you'd like to take a peek or tag along, you can go here: theotherbutterfly.blogspot.com

Writing is my passion and photography is my pleasure :-)

And of course, anyone who knows me knows that JESUS is my-one-true-love.blogspot.com

Be blessed as you continue to seek his joy!  Not happiness but joy, as it's much more sustainable!  :-)

w/love
fsb

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

NEVER Felt Better!

I turned 50 on July 14th and I have never felt better.  I am wiser. I am healthier. I am SO content. I am filled with more joy than I ever knew possible.  Not only that, I am "RICH" in love!  My life overflows with amazing friendships and a family who simple adores me!  Life cannot get any better...or can it?!?!







The flowers are from my dad.  He sent me flowers on July 8th to celebrate our 11 year anniversary of knowing one another and he also sent me flowers on my birthday!  Am I spoiled or what?!!!!

My Mouth Will Proclaim His Truth

Let not mercy and kindness [shutting out all hatred and selfishness] and truth [shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood] forsake you; bind them about your neck, write them upon the tablet of your heart. — Proverbs 3:3

In Psalm 45:1, the psalmist said his tongue was “like the pen of a ready writer.” And in Proverbs 3:1-3, the Word states you should not forget God’s laws but “write them upon the tablet of your heart.” We see from these two Scriptures that the heart is the tablet and the tongue is the pen.

When you confess God’s Word out loud with your tongue, you are effectively writing it on your heart. When you write it on your heart, it becomes more firmly established both in your heart and in the Earth. God’s Word is forever “settled in heaven” (see Psalm 119:89), and we establish it in the Earth each time we speak it. When your mouth is filled with God’s Word, it is a weapon against the devil…use it!

#Power Thought: My tongue is my pen, and my heart a tablet. When I speak the Word of God, it establishes His laws on my heart.

-Joyce Meyer

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Happy Summer

Love, peace and blessings for an awesome summer!

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Today's Prayer

Dear Lord, If tomorrow never comes on this earth, I pray that I will leave behind a testimony that points to you. Help me to live as if today were my last before entering eternity, for I know not what the day may bring. I pray that I will love others with a godly love, that I will be kind and considerate, that I will share who you are and what you have done, that I will smile at those I see throughout the day, that I will remember and pray for others, that I will appreciate every little thing and have an attitude of gratitude, that I will be honest and responsible in all things. Thank you for blessing me and loving me and filling me with your spirit. Please feed my soul and give me strength this day. May you be glorified and my family be blessed. May I touch lives and sow seeds throughout the day. In the name of my Savior I pray, amen.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Grateful Heart

My Lord,

Thank you for loving me and my family!

Thank you that my daughter's heart longs to serve you. Father, please guide her in the direction that you want her to go and keep the evil one clear of her path.

(Pause) Salvation for J. T.)

Thank you for yesterday's #bliss. I was relaxing, packing and watching a great movie in the den while packing up my books. Truly #insane! (11 boxes of books) Thank you!

My #50 day juice fast is over! Thank you for the new body, renewed energy and freedom that I feel in making healthier food choices! #VICTORY!!!!! "Thank YOU!

I had a yummy salad. So simple and so good! Thank you for seconds. Simply fresh tuna, lettuce, tomato and cucumber. Yes, I can eat a salad w/o croutons and cheese. Thank you!

Listened to the waves without leaving the house. Thank you!

My mom and dad texted me yesterday! THANK YOU!

I love you. Thank you!

Got a card in the mail from Jackie #2, Darlene and Dixie. Thank you!

I feel so safe in North Beach. Thank you!

I'm #surrounded by your presence! THANK YOU!

Eternally yours

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

#Perserverance!

What Are You Currently Facing?
If the answer is nothing...then save this in your file for future reference.

1809 Born February 12

1816 Abraham Lincoln's family was forced out of their home and he needed to work to support his family.

1828 His sister dies

1831 A business venture failed

1832 He ran for the State Legislature. He lost.

1832 In the same year, he also lost his job. He decided he wanted to go to law school but couldn't get in.

1833 He borrowed money from a friend to start a business. By the end of the year, he was bankrupt.

1834 He ran for the State Legislature again. This time he won.

1835 The year was looking better as he was engaged to be married. Unfortunately, his fiancee died and he was grief stricken.

1836 This was the year he had a total nervous breakdown and for 6 months was bedridden.

1836 He sought to become Speaker of the State Legislature. He was defeated.

1840 He sought to become Elector. He was defeated.

1842 Marries Mary Todd. They have 4 boys but only one would live to maturity.

1843 He ran for Congress. He lost.

1846 He ran for Congress again. He won and moved to Washington.

1848 He ran for re-election to Congress. He lost.

1849 He sought the job of Land Officer in his home state. He didn't get the job.

1850 His son, Edward, dies.

1854 He ran for the Senate of the United states. He lost.

1856 He sought the Vice Presidential nomination at a national convention. He got less than 100 votes.

1858 He ran for the Senate again. He lost again.

And in...

1860 Abraham Lincoln is elected President of the United States

Persistence. Determination. A willingness to face defeat after defeat after defeat... if it meant that one day he could achieve his goal.

Are you struggling to hold on...to keep it together?

Lincoln's guide to perseverance...

Never.. ever.. Ever.. EVER give up.

If you refuse to give up, you're *guaranteed* to succeed.

#LOVE for a great day!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

TOO Incredible Not To Share!

Hey Family and Friends :-)

I have to share this journey that I've been on. It began with a conversation on Valentine's Day. My sweet sister in Christ, Missy, wanted me to join her on a juice fast. I could not get past the fact that we were not going to be #chewing! It completely baffled my mind. All the things that I loved to eat were floating around in my head. Specifically, the pizza that we'd just indulged in from our Single Sister's Pizza Party! Not to mention the yummy yogurt treats and the cupcakes that were made with such love!

She wanted an accountability partner and thought that I would be just the one to keep her motivated. I had to be honest and say that I was not in agreement. I told her that I would have to pray about it and that I could not promise her anything.

Well, the next day, she invited me over to her house to watch a movie. "Sick Fat and Nearly Dead", by Joe Cross. All I have to say is "WOW!" Not even half way through, I was in.

We started a juice fast on March 1, 2014, and plan to go for 50 days. And I must tell you that the weight loss was a given, but the added #bonus is the fact that I feel incredible. The renewed energy and the intense clarity that you gain from eating only plant based food is truly the secret to a healthier you. It still blows my mind to think that this was all it took to get me to see that my body is very important to God and should be just as important to me. AND, not for vanity sake, but because it carries and sustains me day after day-and has since 1964.

I so love my new outlook on being healthy. It's my new #passion! I never wanted to be skinny or a size 6. I just wanted to the best version of me! I'm so there and it feels #amazing!

YOU owe it to yourselves to reevaluate your eating habits and to experience the best nutrients possible for sustaining your life. So many are simply amazed at how my body has transformed and have joined in. Even my dad, who will be 73 this June.

I don't know anyone who is willing to go the full 50 days. However, many are inspired and wanting to try it just to get the taste and feel of #something new and improved. We desperately need something different from the typical food that we've been unconsciously digesting, just because it's quick and just because it's easy.

And remember, it has to be 100% juice. (So you're going to need a #juicing machine). No smoothies and no chewing! Only if you want the best results. You can do 3-5 days. Some do 10 and some go longer. It's completely up to you and #trust me, you will not regret it. So far I've lost 19 pounds. #Warning, you will experience headaches in the first couple of days because your body will begin the detox process.  And yes, you will gain some of the weight back overtime, but the overall goal is to reboot your brain to crave healthy food and make solid nutritious decisions. Our society lives to eat and we are supposed to eat to live!

(SUPER, super BONUS...many studies have shown that it reduces your risk of getting cancer, diabetes, and various other diseases.) Now who wouldn't want that?!

Just a peak: I'm loving how my fridge looks like the produce section at the super market! So cool to me! Day #32 YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 18 more to go! And with Christ, I can and will reach my goal!

A very special #thank you to Missy who blessed me with a gift that I deeply wanted but did not know. What an amazing and priceless #early 50th Birthday gift to me!

AND A HUGE THANK YOU TO GOD!  It has been expensive but it has been the best money I ever spent and Glory to God for making continual provisions for my life!  If I was not in prayer and writing in my juice journal daily, I don't think I would have the success that I have now. He so delights in me!

#Daniel 1:12 "Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing be vegetables to eat and water to drink."

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Gift Giver

Hey there beautiful and beloved bloggers.

God is so amazing and I am here to tell you that He is the gift giver.

There was a secret dream that I held in my heart.  I never really voiced it to anyone and it is about to come true.  I cried because when I came to that realization, it dawned on me that God heard me and He knew.  He's always known.

WOW! To be known like that, who could possibly....?!?!

Only Jesus!

I'm praying that all is well with you and I would love an email if you have any prayer request.  My life involves a lot of bible study and I'm not sure when I'll have the time to come back to this blog but I cannot stop journeying with My Savior at my other blog.  He truly sustains me and I pray that over there, someone will read something and come to know and trust in Him.

His Princess Bride (my-one-true-love.blogspot.com) please visit when and if you can!

Please, I'd love to pray for you. Prayer.request2010@yahoo.com

I love you and I am asking you...Dare to put your #Faith in Him!
Amazing things are bound to happen!!!!

Free Spirit Butterfly....Yep, I'm Soaring!
Xo

Monday, November 25, 2013

From Me to YOU

I was reading a devotion yesterday and I thought of you.  Here is a prayer from my heart to yours.  I am so enjoying our study of Gideon and just as I knew he would, God is using me in a way that I am not fully comfortable with, but because insecurity is about me and not him...I am going to do it!  Will update you later :-)

In the mean time, praying that everyone will have an awesome Thanksgiving and that you will find some quiet time to count your blessings...naming them one by one and reflecting on what GOD has done!

"Dear God, My heart is moved today for people who just cannot seem to find their place. They feel lost, empty, out of place, floundering. Some are discouraged; some are depressed; some are anxious; some are hopeful; some are searching; some have given up. I pray that today will be a day of breakthrough for them. I pray that the right job, the right ministry opportunity, the right words, the right whatever it is they need will be there for them today. I pray that you will open doors and lead them through. I pray for encouragement and guidance. I pray for joy, excitement and blessings of the heart and spirit. I pray for contentment, initiative, passion, thankfulness in their attitudes today. May they look to you and receive the gifts you have in store for them. And may you, oh wonderful gracious God, be glorified. In Jesus' name I pray, amen."

All my love,
China


Friday, November 1, 2013

Blogger Haitus...

Hey there family, friends and loved ones!  Praying that all is well...mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, and of course SPIRITUALLY!

Just posting a little something in case anyone is looking for me. Lol

I just began a new 6 week bible study with my Thursday night sisters and it's really intense and personal.  It requires lots of study, meditation and a close look at self. 

We are taking a journey with Gideon in the Book of Judges.  This is just what I need so that through this process, God can purify me and expose my weaknesses.  I love when that happens and I want to give him my undivided attention.

LOVE
PEACE
And
BLESSINGS!

Your butterfly blogger :-)

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Sandcastle

the speed limit is 25 mph and strictly enforced
there are no traffic signals only stop signs
there are two bakeries...both simply delicious
funnel cakes in the summer and tasty freeze all year round
art and antiques well within walking distance
trinkets and souvenirs and a farmer's market bonanza
ducks and seagulls play for hours on end
kettle corn and flavored taffy with just enough sugar
lawn chairs and flip flops in every color imaginable
hot sand and umbrellas make it all come together
movie night and live music for lovers and children
cruise ships and sailboats set an amazing backdrop
and ginormous sunrises day after day after day
occasional weddings and events fill the calendar each year
endless fishing and horseshoe crabs cause visitors to take notice
and a humongous wooden cross stands tall in the center
the grand finale is the soft pink sandcastle that's
achored in the middle of our quaint little town
it stands four stories tall and firmly holds forty-two families
favor and blessed by my Savior
i blissfully reside in a suite on the third floor
and until the wind blows it away
i'm a real live princess living out her dream

Thursday, October 17, 2013

IF you believe, YOU have the VICTORY!

Set Your Mind on Victory:

We're currently studying "Foundations, Good and Evil" in my bible study.  I love KNOWING that the Devil has been defeated, but that does not mean that he will stop trying to take hold of your family, destroy your marriages, lure your children, cause bitterness in the work place and tempt you at every opportunity...

Pray without ceasing and keep your mind on the things of GOD.  He gave you the victory and you have to choose to walk in it!

"...everyone who is a child of God conquers the world.  And this is the VICTORY that conquers the world-our faith." 1 John 5:4

"God stripped the spiritual rulers and powers of their authority.  With the cross, he won the VICTORY and showed the world that they were powerless." Colossians 2:15

"But we thank God! He gives us the VICTORY through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

"...overwhelming VICTORY is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us." Romans 8:37

You can choose to walk in YOUR OWN Beliefs and face the day of judgement not knowing your eternal resting place, or you can CHOOSE to walk in the way of Christ and have the assurance of VICTORY!

w/love
fsb

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Necessary Endings...

"Holding on is believing that there's only a past; letting go is knowing that there's a future." -Daphne Rose Kingma

"All endings are inexorably tied to new beginnings. That's the nature of the journey. It continues to unfold.  It builds on itself.  It can't help itself from doing that. Cherish the moments, all of them. You have seen and felt much in life so far.  But still, the best is yet to come." -Melody Beattie

"Letting go means letting be, not throwing things away. Letting go implies letting things come and go, and opening to the wisdom of simply allowing, which is called nonattachment." -Lama Surya Das

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." -Thich Nhat Hanh

"Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand-new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others."
 -Thich Nhat Hanh

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis.

"I simply cannot imagine what my life would look like if I continually held onto the past...fearing to let go and missing out on what the future holds."
 -Free Spirit Butterfly

Sunday, October 6, 2013

In This I Am Confident...

In the past, I never really felt, believed, or considered myself to be "smart." I was a pregnant teen and dropped out of High School because I was ashamed and embarrassed. I decided to attend night school instead and received my G.E.D. Much later in life, I attended George Washington University, but only because I was an employee and received a discount. I was the only black student in the Journalism class and that intimidated me. I had low self esteem, no courage and no encouragement, so I stopped going.

About a year ago, I read this quote: "A thorough knowledge of the bible is worth more than a college education." Theodore Roosevelt

My eyes lit up!!! My posture changed and my confidence soared!!! I have been deeply passionate and all consuming with God's word. For a little over a year now, I've been attending three separate bible study classes and I find great delight in spending time with Him and soaking up his precepts and will for his chosen people. God has opened my eyes and my ears to His Truth and it has completely changed my life.  With what I've learned and "gained" in wisdom, I have not kept it to myself.  God is using me to change lives!

So with that being said...I am one of the smartest women I know!

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man..." Matthew 7:24

"... But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man..." Matthew 7:26

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. Proverbs 9:10, 11

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 1 Corinthians 1:25, 26

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. Colossians 2:2-4

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Celebrate

A friend sent me an e-mail indicating that today is National Poetry Day and Butterfly and Hummingbird Day!

YAYYYYYYY!

I wrote the below poem in 2011 and it's in my first book :-)

IF

if i were a tree, i would be deeply rooted in the earth and happy regardless of when the seasons changed

if i were a bird, i would perch myself upon the highest branch and sight see from sun up to sun down

if i were a flower, i would be a yellow rose and smile wide each time someone called out my name

if i were a leaf, i would be the prettiest shade of red and all the other colors would envy me

if i were a seashell, i would be the rarest find on display at the Smithsonian Museum for the entire world to see

if i were a butterfly, i would migrate to CHINA to research my ancestors and then publish a book about my journey

if i were a rock, i would rest upon my owner's collectibles and everyone would want to hold me and retrace my steps

if i could be anything that i wanted to be, i would be anything besides a human being...


Sunday, September 29, 2013

Choosing to BELIEVE...

I watched a powerful movie this weekend.  "The Stoning of Soraya M." A true story about a woman who was stoned to death because her husband wanted a divorce and she'd refused to comply.

My life was nothing like hers...based on the bible and the sins that I committed, MY LIFE was worth stoning.  I should have been stoned to death; not her.

Every time I think about My Lord and My life...the one I gave to him.  The enormity of HIS FAVOR continues to overwhelm me.  When I wake up to this...


How can I not PRAISE Him?

I've said it before...most of my life was lived without a voice and because Our God is "all knowing" he has chosen to allow the remainder of my life to be quite the opposite.  I openly blog about my life here, on my Princess Bride Blog and on my Poetry and Prose blog. (Both on my Blogger's List)

Yes, I use my writing abilitites to tell everyone on Facebook, via e-mails and texts.  And also in person about His transforming my past sins into present and future work for His Kingdom.

In my what "seemed" the happiest of times, he took my husband (by divorce) my beloved four legged friend to doggie heaven and my home.  All that "so called" brought me safety and a sense of comfort.  I was at the end of myself until a friend entered my life and told me about a man named Jesus.  And in my despair, this is what He revealed to ME...

Psalm 66: 16-20 "Come and listen, all you who fear God, let me tell you what he has done for me..."
Psalm 61:1 "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer."
Psalm 63:6 "On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding..."
Jeremiah 29:11-14..."For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord..."

In May of 2008, I chose to BELIEVE.  And as a result of that belief, I began to read the word and haven't stopped since.  All the scriptures that God pointed me to were intentional.  He gave me specific instructions and I have to finish the work he gave me.  It's now my life's mission.  He said, "If you love me, you will obey my commandments."  And anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE HIM!

My soul has finally found the rest that I was unknowingly seeking all of my life...

Ahhhhh

Thursday, September 26, 2013

God Is Mine...

My friends at church tease me because I act as though God is mine, all mine.  In my heart, I feel that He is.  We have such an intimate relationship and he fulfills all my desires.  He listens to me, he understands me, he accepts me, he longs to spend time with me, he truly has my best interest at heart and he has promised to never leave.  Not only that, day after day, he writes me the most profound love letters and creates one of kind paintings just for me. Yes!  He is mine, all mine.


last night's sunset....all for me, his princess bride

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Programming Our Minds...

That sounds simple, but it's oh so challenging...especially with the media, radio, TV and Internet.

Dr. Charles Stanley wrote the below article and I wholeheartedly agree.  It wasn't easy for me in the beginning but overtime, I've come to control my thoughts and take the ones of my flesh captive.  Still working on it and hopeful that He will finish the work in me that He started.

According to Dr. Stanley, the mind is the control tower of life.  Decisions determine actions, which in turn affect the immediate and distant future.  The person each of us will be 20 years from now is impacted by how we think today.  If we want our future self to be pleasing to the Lord, then we must begin at once to program our mind with godly thoughts.

First we must reject worldly thinking: Romans 12:2 and Ephesians 4:23...renewing the mind.  This is done by submitting to the Holy Spirit.  If you allow him access to your life, he will convict your old ways and transform you. 

* "Trust me. He did it for me!"

A second way to submit is by sifting our thoughts through the Word and will of God.  We must consider whether an attitude or line of reasoning is pleasing to the Lord and useful for making each one of us into the person He has called us to be.  Then, when a thought is unscriptural, we can choose to reject it. 2 Cor 10:5

* I did a recent summer study with my church and the basis was: Going with God's Truth or Going with Your Feelings.

*One thing for sure: God's Truth Never Changes...but our feelings...WOW - they are continually changing.  Just look at and evaluate your relationships; both past and present, both personally and professionally.  Isn't that proof enough?!

*my input :-)

Sunday, September 22, 2013

UNBELIEVABLE...

I never dreamt...I only wrote...

Below, I'm holding my second book.  And the posted poem is published in my first book.  I never dreamed of publishing or even sharing my words publicly.  I never had a voice...just a pen and a journal.  Amazing what God does with a life that is submissive to him.  When I speak, it is not me, it's my Spirit.


Not A Poet

when i write
it is not to create a poem

it is not to arrange stanzas
and line up couplets

it is not to form 17 syllables
for the perfect haiku

it is not to have the last
line rhyme with the previous

nor is it an attempt to duplicate
a piece written by a famous poet

when i write it is not to satisfy
the reader or even myself

it is not a fixation to get my thoughts
onto paper before my memory fades

when i write it is not to one day
with hopes to some day...

when i write it is completely and
utterly beyond my control

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Submission

the dark seas are just outside my window
the barrier has been established and stands
the enormous pressure moves with force
then there are those rare moments of stillness
and repeated cycles of calm and turbulence
similar to emotions of anxiety and uncertainty
but never once do the waters test the Creator
they know not to move until commanded
so who the hell are we to outright disobey Him



















John14:15 "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Peace Be Still...

Can't wait...

I'm usually off on Fridays and Saturdays and super busy with something or another....studying, helping someone, counseling, church, work, etc...

But tomorrow, I'm free.  And it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

I have no plans.  No errands. No appointments.  No date :-) 

There are many, many things that I could be doing and need to do, but I'm just not going to do them.

Tomorrow is going to be my sabbath. (Hebrews 4:9)
I have to work this Saturday and Sundays are my regularly scheduled work day. (LOVE it because no important people are there) Lol

Life is loud and busy...cell phones constantly ringing, texting, e-mails, horns, police sirens, gossip, idle chatter, TV, traffic, radios...etc...

In the midst of life, chaos, distractions, interruptions, tragedies, mishaps and even death...

Sometimes YOU have to just be still.

And be reminded that the world won't give you that.  It's truly a gift that you give yourself. 

Just like the love of the Father.  He doesn't force it on you; you have to want it for yourself.

Ahhh....

Can't wait...

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Yesterday I Cried

It sounds cliche' and even strange for me to say in my "line of work."  But yesterday started off the same...crime reports, conference calls and prep for meetings.  It was loud, busy, multi tasked and business as usual.

And then, (again...in my line of work) all HELL broke loose.  We were in the midst of an all out war against the enemy.  SATAN is still on attack!  In his sick and twisted mindset, he thinks he's going to reign over Jesus.

He tried yesterday, here in our Nation's Capital. 

It was a horrific and emotion filled day as 13 people were killed at the Navy Yard.  The atmosphere was full of fear, uncertainty, confusion, distress, tragedy, and UNITY.  Law Enforcement Officers from all over came together and the training and wisdom kicked in just like clock work.  It was indeed a "put your life on the line" kind of day and I cried.

We worked ALL DAY LONG and I kept thinking about God during the midst of my duties.  I kept repeating, "God is still God."  I'd look up, quote scripture and remember His promises.  Strange to say, but as we were moving from one building to another, I noticed the sun setting and it was beautiful.  "Yes, He's still there." I told myself.

And on the way home, I talked with Him in the car and cried.  I cried this morning and I'm sure I'll cry some more.  It was UGLY.  What that man did was an UGLY cowardly thing to do...but GOD is still God and He is still in control and He is BEAUTIFUL.

My prayers to the victims, their families, my colleagues, and Our Nation.

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Great I AM

If you still do not believe, this photo says it all!!!!!!

This was taken on Saturday morning as I stood in my living room. 

HE is an all consuming fire and I am His desire!

Oh how I love Him!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Technology

he reaches for her hand ... gently

he looks into her eyes ... romantically

he whispers in her ear ... quietly

they burst into laughter ... simultaneously

his cell phone rings ... loudly

he drops her hand ... abruptly

she walked away ... angrily

he catches up to her ... quickly

he asks for forgiveness ... humbly

she grants it ... reluctantly

he reaches for her hand ... hesitantly

her cell phone rings ...







Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Find Yourself

"In the process of letting go, you will loose many things from your past but you will find yourself.” - unknown

I used to think that I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t pretty enough and I wasn’t good enough. No one told me these things, they were just beliefs that I created in my own mind.
I thought that my mother didn’t like me because I was a reminder of my dad, whom she no longer loved. And I thought my dad didn’t love me. He left home when I was a baby and never came back for me.
I thought that being a teenage mom and dropping out of school was the biggest shame of my life.
I thought that I failed as a wife and that "happily ever after" was all make believe.
I thought that pleasing everyone would make me a better person and cover my flaws.
I thought that I was a victim of domestic violence because he loved me so much.
I thought that if I became more like someone else and less like me, I’d be happier.
I thought that if I became a Muslim like my ex, I would finally have a “relationship with God.”
I thought that I was being sexually harassed most of my life was because I was so damn naive.
I thought that if I said how I really felt that no one would like me.
I thought that if I worked really hard I wouldn’t have to reach out for help and be disappointed when no one came to my rescue.
I thought that saving all "my" money was better than giving to someone less fortunate.
I thought that I was the only one with low self esteem, fears and huge insecuritites.
I thought that all the conversations I held with myself were the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
I thought I was going to heaven when I died.

NONE OF THOSE THINGS WERE TRUE!
In letting go of my past, I found truth in my Lord and Savior. Jesus helped me to find myself and my past is just that…my past.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Two Simple Words...

Father, because of you, I live and have my being.  "THANK YOU!"

James 4:15 "If it is the Lord's will, we live and do this or that."

Sunday, August 25, 2013

This Time

when i say i love you
it's because we can share a simple cup of
coffee and great conversation

when i say i love you
it's because you reach for my hand
in the darkness of night

when i say i love you
it's because when you kiss me
however slight...it permeates my soul

when i say i love you
it's because you ask about my day
and listen attentively

when i say i love you
it's because the moment i heard your voice
my heart said that i could trust you

when i say i love you
it's because for the first time in my life
i understand the word submission

when i say i love you
it's because when we sit in the company
of stillness words are not needed

when i say i love you
it's because my dreams, goals and
aspirations are just as important to you

when i say i love you
it's because your wisdom and experience
help me to face my biggest obstacles

when i say i love you
it's because no matter what happens today
tomorrow i can look back and say that
i knew love

Friday, August 23, 2013

I Love My Life...

many are stuck, afraid, unhappy, faking it, envious, angry, playing it safe, going through the motions, searching for purpose, bitter, depressed, bored, or limited...

not me...i'm loving this gift called "life" and i have not one single regret...not one.



Tuesday, August 20, 2013

It Hurts

Father it hurts
Another soul has passed
I did not know her
But I know her daughter
And Lord, she needs you
Your strength...your grace
Your assurance and your love
Her heart will feel an emptiness
Her life will appeared to have
Stopped completely...
Jesus please stop what
You're doing and comfort her
I'll be okay for a while My Lord
But she needs you now
She's hurting and I'm mourning
Together, we are weeping
God, I know that it's all for your ultimate
Glory, but it still hurts

(someone i know lost her mom today)
prayers please...

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Mother & Daughter Blessing!

My Lord,

I thank You that my daughter and I are Women of Faith! This weekend was the most exhaustive spiritual experience I've had, aside from going to Alaska and Haiti and seeing with my own eyes how BIG You truly are!

We had an awesome time at the conference with our sisters from Grace Church and 8,000 other women who love and worship You! WORDS cannot describe the emotions and profound love shown for Your gift of dying on the cross for us sinners.

It was indeed overwhelming and oh so incredible. We all cried, laughed, praised, sung, danced and began again...the entire weekend!

The speakers were so on fire for You as were the women in the audience. I saw a man and asked him how he got in...He said, "I'm here with my wife." OMG, can I have one of those. LOL

Lord, You are worthy of all the praise. I have fallen deeper in love with You and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change what I BELIEVE!

And for some reason today, there was extra love at Church. Women were hugging me and thanking me for being...doing...and saying... Father, those hugs are for You. You alone transformed my life and You alone deserve all the GLORY!

I heart You with everything that I am and I am not ashamed of the Gospel for it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who BELIEVES! (Romans 1:16)

All my love, all the time!

Eternally yours,
Your Princess Bride

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

My Testimony of Faith

My life is a living letter...written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God.


My Lover and My Lord walks with me and talks with me daily.  We have an intimacy that I've always wanted and never knew until He came into my heart and into my life.  It did not happen over night.  At first, I did not trust that He was real, that His love for me was true and that He would comfort me when I needed Him most.

I received some disheartening news on Monday, but because He abides in me, it is well with my soul.  Strangely enough...I had a dream months ago that something like this would happen.  The next day, when I spoke it aloud to a friend, a quiet tear fell.  But, then I moved on with the rest of my day.  He has proven time and time again that I can put my trust in Him.  Therefore, I am not afraid.

Love for a great day!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Date Night

on the bookstore's floor
time stands still as i
loose myself in poetry

voices of strangers in
the background with
occasional laughter

socialization of the
opposite sex and numbers
being exchanged...

as for me, i am content
with no human contact
comforted and complete

no need for broken
promises and unreturned
phone calls...spare me please

i find my greatest pleasure
as i turn the pages wrapped
in prose poems and haiku

Friday, August 9, 2013

My Senses


if i didn't see the beautiful bright sun to greet my day
if i didn't see a single star in the night sky
if i didn't see a moonlit glow to guide me home
it does not mean that you're not there

if i never taste a raindrop on the tip of my tongue
if i never taste my mom's amazing home cooking
if i never taste a kiss from my future soul mate
it does not mean that you're not there

if i could not hear the sweetest bird's song
if i could not hear the roaring thunder
if i could not hear "amazing grace"
it does not mean that you're not there

if i never touch the soft petal of a gerber daisy
if i never touch the hand of a loved one
if i never touch the wing of a butterfly
it does not mean that you're not there

if i could not smell the sweet baby's breath
if i could not smell the scent of spring
if i could not smell the fragrance of a yellow rose
it does not mean that you're not there

because my heart knows that you are there

(photo by fsb)

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Free At Last

God saw my fragile soul
wondering from place to place
and repeatedly called out to me

unable to settle and find rest
unable to trust that
i knew what was best

i willing gave love to
anyone who wanted it
only to discover that i never
truly possessed it

believing that i held no worth
i allowed my virtue
to be passed around

unaware that my Father
was watching over me and
trying to take hold of me

i had no idea that His love
would be such a passionate
and powerful force that
could eventually heal me

my fragile soul was so desperately
searching for that one person
or thing that would validate me

anything to stop the bleeding
from my damaged heart and cure
my hidden feelings of inadequacy

His Son came to save me
and presented me with a
sweet song of grace and mercy

now my fragile soul has
landed on His eagle wings of
forgiveness and eternity

my spirit is free at last

Thursday, August 1, 2013

A Friend Until The End

You have been with me all my life. You know and have kept all my secrets ... my lies and my truths. You know all the losers and the lovers in between. The one who stole my virginity and the one who replaced my dignity. You were with me when he said, "I love you" and when he said, "Good-bye."

All those years spent searching, crying, praying and believing ... yes, you were there. Not only did you see me through those seasons of uncertainty, but also my biggest fears and insecurities.

When I pretended to be fine, confident and sexy, you were there. When it all fell apart and my flaws were revealed ... I cried and you comforted me. During that brief moment of desperation and shame ... that day that I wanted to die ... you were there. My journal, my friend.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Reminiscing

he would look at me with those eyes of his
the ones that spoke directly to my soul

he would reach for my hand as if it
were an extension of his own

the electricity would cause our skin cells
to burn immediately
but a pain worth enduring

the pulsating of our hearts would begin
to increase and the rhythm became poetic

we would begin to dance and when he
pulled me close it was as if i'd
transcended past all my lovers before him

quiet and stillness filled the air with
intense moments of heat that emanated
from our bodies

no words were spoken nor were they
necessary as the passion defined our thoughts

afraid to surrender to the desires of my
flesh i always wondered what could have been

fsb

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Sacred Sex...

I received a divine treasure in the mail over the weekend.  Sacred Sex by Dr. Tony Evans.  He wrote a tiny little book on God's plan for man and woman.  He titled it Sacred Sex making reference to Genesis 4:1 where God said, "Now the man had relations with his wife Eve..."

He goes on to say that the Hebrew term used in the very first account of sexual intimacy for "had relations" is the word yada.  It is the same word used a few verses earlier when describing that Adam and Eve's eyes had been opened and they "knew" that they were naked.  It is also the same word used when we read, "Then the Lord God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:22).

The word Yada means:
to know, learn to know
to be be made known, be revealed
to make oneself known
to cause to know
to reveal oneself
to know by experience

A brief excerpt:
The very foundation of true yada of one another in the security of marriage union is rooted in a sacrificial dying to yourself in such a way that means laying your will, pride, and needs on the alter while considering the other as more important than yourself. It is in this sacrifice where both partners die to themselves that what is new can grow and flourish in the soil of biblical love.  This is because in sacred sex the two partners share much more than some moments of passion.  They share their secrets, their fears, their hopes their failures, and even so much as their "treasures of the darkness and hidden wealth of secret places."  They reveal themselves in a way unlike with any other.  And within that revelations, if it s truly yada, they will find the most authentic form of love possible.

So beautiful to my ears and to my heart knowing that one day, someone will know me this deeply.

love for a great day,
fsb

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I'm Back...Lol

I went to the Outer Banks for my "49th Birthday" and had an absolute BALL!  It was so amazing.  The road trip was so beautiful, blissful, sunny and freeing!  However, in the end, I cut my foot (ouch) and was out on sick leave after my vacation.  But no worries, life's still good from this end :-)





Thursday, July 11, 2013

The Spirit Lives In Me...

I am Barnabas.  It's something that I cannot control.  I don't even remember how it started.  But today, it has grown to about 40 friends and family members.  And there are times, (quite frankly) where I don't feel like it.  Specifically, when I'm on my day off or on vacation, but the Lord has given me an assignment and a gift.  After ALL He's done for me, even when I don't "feel" like it, I have to do it.  He is continually showing me that this life that He gave me is a gift to be shared.

Monday thru Friday, I send out encouraging messages: I use texting and e-mails.  I am telling you the truth when I say that it was a message that someone "needed" and it was not my doing.  The Spirit tells me what to say and trust me, there have been many times where I've wanted to say/share something else and HE changed it right before I hit the send key.  I have even had people text me to say that they did not receive their morning inspiration.  :-)

The Spirit provoked me to share this personal testimony with someone this morning:

After I had much anxiety about a very personal and difficult decision a few years back, the Lord lead me to Psalm 13. This is where David repeatedly asked God, "How long?" And then, he ended the Psalm with praise and thanksgiving."

"Father, when you did that for me, it was indeed well with my soul.
I pray that the person I shared it with feels some relief in the season that you have them in. I thank you Lord for allowing my spirit and my heart to be vulnerable. I have not kept quiet about what you've done for me."

And while on the way to work, the morning message was so piercing to the spirit, I was told to share this too. I am just being used by God to be His messenger.

"Do you want the TRUTH or do you want someone to agree with you?"
John 8:32 Then you will know the truth and the truth will make you FREE.
LOVE for a great day!