I was on my way to the dentist this morning when I heard this question on the radio. In my happy place and having my medium cup of coffee.... (I had my toothbrush in my purse). Anyway, as much growth as I'm proud to claim over the past two years or so, this question took me right back to all those little insecurities that (used) to take up residence in the back of my mind. To me, memories are like luggage. Once the trip is over, you can unpack the bags and put everything back in it's place but the luggage is still there (just stored).
My lies were mostly self lies. Things I believed about myself not necessarily told to me by friends or loved ones. In my mind's eye, I was never tall enough, pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, confident enough, my feelings didn't matter, having my needs met was not important and God forbid if someone paid me a compliment; I'd immediately think, "are they really talking to me?"
Sad to say the biggest lie I told myself was that If I was nice, fair, honest and giving that I would surely go to heaven to see my grandmother. Well we all know that ain't true. God told me that himself. And now that I've set the record straight, I'm tall enough, smart enough, pretty enough, super confident, my feelings are valid and having my needs met is very important. And the compliment thing, I'm so over that. I see what you see and I totally agree, not to sound arrogant but there's only one free spirited butterfly and she's gorgeous from the inside out. How ironic that that is the title to one of my books.
Lastly, I reserved a first class ticket to Heaven because me and my grandmother has got some catching up to do! Love, peace and blessings.