Thursday, April 16, 2009

What I know for sure...

If you've ever read an Oprah magazine, at the very end, she has an article titled "What I know for sure." It's always about a life lesson that she's learned as she has journeyed through her life and shares with her readers in hopes that you may learn something as well.

Well last night I was reading something from an old journal of mine and I wanted to post it as a food for thought. I don't remember the author but it said, "The success or failure of your relationships strongly depend on how you were fed emotionally as a child." This I know for sure. I also hold it to be true in friendships and working relationships as well. We all have an emotional need to be fed and if it wasn't satisfied as a child, you/we are still seeking to have "someone" fulfill it.

So with that being said, when you find yourself in a situation where the relationship has come to a halt, and you just can't seem to fix it, figure it out or get past the issue(s) at hand. Ask yourself, "How well do you know the person involved?" Another great question to ask is what are you hoping to get in return? A lot of our issues with people have absolutely nothing to do with "the issue." When you take an honest look at the situation, you just might be holding the person accountable for a need that wasn't met from your past. Oftentimes we assume that we really know our partners. If we are constantly changing and discovering ourselves, how can you be so sure you "know" your partner better than they know themselves?

Just something to think about.

9 comments:

crochet lady said...

I don't think we can every 'really' know another person. We can come close and share our lives in honesty and love, but no one really knows us like God.

I was grateful to have two loving parents growing up who provided alot for me and I also met God at an early age and started looking for Him. Though all of my years have been a long journey that others, would have probably traveled more quickly than I.

This is what I know for sure - that Jesus is the only one who can satisfy all of my deepest longings and desires. He is what I need.

Thanks for your thoughts.
Blessings,
Jen

A Lady's Life said...

To love some one, is to accept the person in their true form, as they need to accept you, in your true form.You are who you are and they are who they are. We all have things people like about us and things people don't like about us and we all have things we don't like about ourselves but cannot change until the time is right for it.
I personally believe that no matter how much you study and learn throughout your life, you still die a fool.Accepting that thought, makes life and people, so much easier to deal with. :)

CareyCarey said...

Interesting comments and post.

Since I've been following your blog, Miss butterfly *wink*, I've seen a constant theme. I believe it's about self-discovery.

God doesn't impose ill upon us, we have a free will. I think you are saying when we know ourselves we then and only then, will begin to find real answer. This I know and believe.

Lyrically speaking said...

hmmmmmmmm, must agree with Crochet Lady, truly enjoyed reading this post...i'm glad I stumbled upon you, stay blessed

Keith said...

Not only are all of your relationships based on how you were fed emotionally as a child...but if you take a closer look, you find that you essentially are fighting the same battle, looking for the same something that you needed emotionally as a child in every single relationship..just hard to articulate and on a different level.

Solomon said...

Love this post.

What I know for sure is that I have never really known the women that I have went out with. I have came to te conclusion that you only know what people let you know, if they are open and honest, then you might have a good sampling of that person, but from my experience, many people are not as straight forward about there past and who they really are.

That is just something that one needs to accept, I'm not trying to be negative per say, as I am realistic. I am learning to take people as they are, because I can't change how anyone else behaves, I can only control my actions, and whether I can accept someone else, faults and all.

If I can accept who I am, then I can learn to accept others for who they are, because there isn't anyone on this Earth that is perfect.

PAK ART said...

I have been amazed several times by the actions/words of people I thought I knew. Really knew. And then I've found out that I really didn't know them at all. Isn't that crazy? I agree with Solomon in that people only let us in to know them as much as they are willing to. Many people still hold something back, something secret, maybe hurting. I wonder if I'm completely transparent with my husband sometimes or if I'm giving him what I think he wants...it's hard to know where that line is sometimes.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Good morning blog family. Thanks for visiting and commenting. I'm happy to have your insights on this particular post. It was a personal one for me, because it took my a long time to realize that I was craving "something" I didn't get or felt I got when I was younger. NOW the Lord feeds my soul and relationships are what they are. If someone lets you "in" how awesome is that? But when they allow you to come "inside" are they letting their guard down and presenting themselves as they truly are, or are they portraying only a portion of themselves until they feel safe? I hope that on this blog, I'm portraying who I really am and that the walls that I use to use for self protection have come down. I can only continue to grow and blossom if I'm my authentic self and not who I want people to "think" I am.

Love for a fantastic weekend!
A special thank you to the new visitors! :-)

SLC said...

Sorry I'm so late responding. Miss my big sister. Someone once said that 1st impressions are lasting impressions. That someone wasn't me, or at least didn't live a life where I was fed a constant meal of before and after disasters. Guess that's why my relationship with God is so important. I need a consistent source of nourishment. You know sis in the past I've met some really gruff people, but they were consistent so while everyone else despised them I got along with them so well they eventually showed me a softer side. All to often however it's the other way around; first the good, then the ugly. Ok that's tooooooo long.

Keep your weapon active,
SLC