Friday, January 16, 2009

Change of Plans...

Good morning all. It's 0530 and you're all probably sound asleep or just getting up. In my line of work time is obsolete. Your life is not your own; you are a public servant and you are at the department's disposal. But anyway, I was on my way in this morning and listening to my IPOD. Surprisingly, the traffic was heavy but flowing. I thought only law enforcement, firefighters and medics worked crazy hours. I'm sorry, I keep getting off the subject.

While listening to a song by Phyllis Hyman, I felt sad for the pain that she must have been hiding. She was a beautiful and talented human being; at least on the outside. I found this on google:

"She said, `I'm not going out of the window because it would hurt all the way down,' and she was laughing because she lived on the 33rd floor," Poole said. He said, "She said she was going to do a pill overdose." "`I'm just going to take some pills and go to sleep,'" he remembered her saying.
The songbird complained "she was just existing and she didn't want to go through another 46 years of living like she had lived the last 46 ... She said July 6 was going to be a grand day."

I had planned to type another fun post, but then this hit me. Are you consumed with something in your life that is taking up a lot of your time, energy and leaving your mentally exhausted? Look around carefully at your family members, coworkers and people that you may know but don't know personally. Google the symptoms of suicide and see if you see anyone displaying the "signs." And although we never see them up close and personal, it's usually when they have successfully committed the act that we look back and remember all the red flags. So if you need someone to talk to, don't be embarrassed. Talk to a friend, a pastor or even a therapist. I'm telling you, it will help tremendously. I had a difficult decision to make once and after speaking with a therapist, I felt an incredible weight being lifted from my heart and I felt like a free spirit butterfly as I fluttered out of her office and on with my "new life."


SLC said...

Or even a fellow blogger. This post shows there's a world of wisdom, sensitivity, and ministry available through this post. I read about Phyllis a few weeks ago after hearing "Betcha By Golly Wow". On a few occasions I've gotten a lift from you or Shanita and others so if I ever get to feeling really low, expect an email.

You said, "Your life is not your own"
Paul said, "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." and I know you do.

You said, "you are a public servant "
Jesus said, "The greatest among you must be a servant. Matthew 23:11"

You're a great minister (servant) and I know you're currently training for that day after you retire when you can fully utilize the wisdom gleaned from these trying and sometimes monotonous days.

Always prayin' for you,

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

You are a "great" inspirator as well. I'll never forget your beginning days as a blogger not really sure about what to say and how you've grown since. It's more than ok to take a day away from blogging or life even. Do what in your heart. If don't want to blog and rather stay in bed, do that for your soul. A happy spirit will indeed make a happier husband and father. The Lord has great Plans for you and as you continue to meditate on his words, continue to share your lessons with me. I know as a new Christian I have "Sooooooooo much" to learn and my mind is open and my hear is receptive!

If you ever need to email me, please do -

Love, peace and blessings for a great day!

Your lil sis (smile)
Assuming your older (lol)

SLC said...

I look older. That just for men stuff doesn't last long enough.

crochet lady said...

Free Spirit Butterfly, I really enjoyed reading more of what you've written on this blog. You have some great thought provoking points. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts and we do have some 'stuff' in common, one being your evident love for your Lord.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Ms. Crochet, I thank you deeply for your compliment and you placed a smile upon my heart. I do love the Lord and I hope that he sees inside of me even on my not so loving days. I was reading Exodus last night and feeling so "renewed about my job."

Thanks again and have a blessed and warm weekend.
The butterfly.

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

Hello there-

It's a very inspiring and instructing topic you've raised - we are indeed surrounded by hurting people and most of them do not show any signs but they are hurting on the inside.

Enjoy Exodus

Have a great weekend!


crochet lady said...

I just read your very nice comment on my first blog. That is a really good idea to read others first blog when you start blogging with them. A good way to get to know someone. I smile when I think about getting to know you better, it seems like I'd like to call you sister already! This blogging stuff is pretty cool.

Thanks too for your current blog on the signs of depression. It is so very real and something I have stuggled with in the past. Maybe some time I'll tell you about it.

Thy Word Is A Lamp Unto My Feet said...

Hello butterfly-

It must have been a 'divine' thing - I am sitting at work (can't wait to go home 12 hour shift) and I got an email with your comment about an old post "Are you Rich" - I went back to the post and re-read it.

Please know that God had you read it so you could remind me of His truth. I was feeling totally depressed about a discovery I made a few moments ago and then got your email.

Indeed we ought to be grateful to be in the top 1% in the world. I will email you to say more.

I want to stop by and have tea in the den (lol) - not a coffee drinker.

Thank you very much.


Joyfulsister said...

Thanks for blessing me with your visit today and for sharing your heart. I thank the Lord for being able to meet new sisters and that we are able to be an encouragement to one another. Working for a non profit agency that deals with people from all walks of life, going through some of the most toughest of times, I pray each day as I go to work that the Lord will fill more me more with his Love, patience, compassion, Kindness, understanding, and hope to pass it on to those we help each day. I am thankful for those who work in law enforcement, It is not always an easy task, but for those who know the Lord it is a blessing to know he is always by their side each , and you are a blessing to all you help each day!!

BLessings Lorie

Strongblkwmn said...

I was shocked when my 13 year old niece said she thought of killing herself because she didn't want to be "here" anymore. I asked her where here was and she said, "Earth." I was so hurt and scared. She's gone through a lot in her young life. The last straw was when someone tried to kidnap her and throw her into a van. I think my little lady is overwhelmed.

You don't know what to do or say when you hear something like that. All I could do was tell her that I love her very much and will always be here when she needs me. She's doing a lot better now, but we're all keeping an eye on her and my sister has found someone for her to talk to.

Speaking of Phyllis Hyman, my father was totally in love with her. I know he made sure to have a conversation with her when he got to heaven.

Sherria said...

You know how you sit in the pews of church during a sometimes feel like the pastor is speaking right to you during the sermon? Well that's how I feel about this blog. In 2006, when I pulled the plug on my g-ma and my brother was shot in the head---I HONESTLY couldn't take the pain any longer!!! And all I kept hearing was my g-ma's voice in my head saying "That's the devil riding your back---get on your knees and pray!" Fortunately, I found some help. Greg O'quinn's "I Told The Storm" was very helpful for me!!! Amongst other things...

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

WOW, the spirit that entered my body to type this post has touched a lot of hearts. I am amazed at how we are all unique and yet the same. The sooner we admit that we are experiencing pain, depression, sadness and a lost of hope even for a brief moment; someone comes along to share in that "moment" and we have not only healed them but ourselves as well.

I remember when I was a young victim of abuse and thought that if I killed myself, no one would care..... And still I rise!

Love, and peace to all!