Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Are you living your best life?

I know that I am and I'm not faking it! I am happier than I've ever been. And I say that with such certainty because being happy is a decision; your decision. Are you unconsciously holding someone else accountable for your happiness? I must admit that I was when I was married. I didn't realize it until it was too late. Now that I'm not in a relationship and my focus is no longer on my husband, making him happy, and trying to figure out what would make us happy, my surroundings are clearer than they've ever been. What I've discovered is that there are a lot of unhappy people walking around expecting their lives to change without them actually participating in it.

My heart goes out to those who constantly argue about senseless stuff, are not on the same page as far as raising the children, financially living separate lives, no spiritual commonality, no in dept communication about how they truly feel, and most importantly, no plan on how to get back what they once had. I can tell you from experience that divorce is very painful and the aftermath can shake the very foundation that you once stood on.

Take a long look at your relationship and your partner. If you love him/her and still want to spend your lives together, simply say it and start working on having a successful, nurturing and more passionate life together. And if it isn't working and counseling is not an option than I suggest that you be honest with yourselves and let it go. Love isn't supposed to hurt and it isn't supposed to harbor resentment. It's not perfect but it is worth fighting for because when all else fails, the greatest gift is loving and being loved in return.


Shai said...

"Love isn't supposed to hurt and it isn't supposed to harbor resentment."

Your quote above is something that has taken me a LONG time to get. I still slip up.

Great post. I am learning and unlearning alot of things. I love how your post came at just the right time.

P.S. Thanks for sharing on my blog. It helped MORE than you know.

Shanita Waters said...

I enjoyed your post although I admit it caused me to step back and run a quick reality check. I used to be one of those people who based their happiness on the happiness of others. We both ended up being miserable. I am so blessed today that God gave me the wisdom to know when enough was enough and the strength to walk away and stay away. (Sometimes we don't have to physically leave but mentally and spiritually vacate the premesis.) It was in that away time that I was able to form a closer relationship with God and I learned how to enter into His presence and in His presence there is fullness of Joy.

Thank you for sharing. I am certain that there is something here for everyone.


A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Shai, thanks so much for your blog as well. We have helped one another along this journey called life. I don't think GOOGLE knew what incredible relationships would form from this thing called blogging (smile)

Shanita, your last paragraph was so me and now I hope to help another girl/women who has lost her self along the way....

Love, peace and blessings!

SLC said...

Happy Sunday! I missed that today, so this is my way of checking in with my sister.
I pray all is well.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Hey SLC, this was my first Sunday off in a while and I took full advantage. I went to two services in Church and volunteered at a nursing home in my neighborhood. I praise GOD for my health and I hope to extend my services to the seniors as much as possible.

Love, peace and blessings!

Parkay said...

Hey free spirit. Love your post. When I was in a situation that you are speaking of many moons ago, I needed someone like you to tell me all the things you just said. Maybe I wouldn't have suffered so long in a relationship that was over and dead. But praise God I got out of it somewhat whole. It's took a while to love again but when I did it was good. Unfortunately the love of my life died but I can truly say I experience what love is truly about. I pray that God will bless us both with it again if its in his will, if not, I will still praise him, heart and soul. PEACE!

Sherria said...

Whoa....awesome blog. I will one day be able to re-read this blog and think to myself "I came a long way" Until then, I am delighted in your happiness. I don't know many people who can honestly admit that they are HAPPY!!!

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Sherria, you have a lot of awesome gifts to offer the right guy. Your writing tells me that you have yet to meet him. That is my prayer for you. Keeping blogging and don't settle.

Thanks for the visit.

love, peace and blessings.