Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Divorce...

On one of my past blog topics, I posted this as one of my favorite quotes. It said that wounded children grow up to become wounded adults. God hates divorce. He doesn’t dislike it or tolerate it, he hates it. Why do you think we end our vowels with till death do us part? It is because it is one of the laws he has written for us in his scripture.

Not only do we argue, fuss and fight but we do it in front of the children. And usually the issue at hand is not about the “issue” at hand. Ninety percent of the time it is about an old wound, past insecurities and unresolved stuff that we consciously or unconsciously hold our partner accountable for. Why do we do that? We do it because we grew up not knowing that the past would follow us or come back to haunt us, not knowing that we’re supposed to know who we are before we can know what we want.

Sometimes as adults we have to do "stuff" we don't want to do. We have to suffer to grow and we have to loose something we love to gain something so much more valuable. That's how God works in our lives. So before you end your marriage and devastate your children, remember the "for better or worse" and ask yourself, is this the worst? Nine times out of ten; it's not, it's your selfishness...

Do you want your children to grow up to be wounded adults? They understand more than we give them credit for and they are entitled to know that the family is still whole even though we don’t live under the same roof. And most importantly, they need to see that mom and dad may not still love one another but they will always respect each other. Stop being selfish, step out of your pain for a minute and think about the children

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