It was my resolution for the coming year. To draw closer to God. I took the entire month of December to meditate and pray. No TV and very little socialization. I read, studied and prepared for my new role as His Princess Bride. I took a vacation and during that time, I could feel Him drawing me nearer. It was that butterflies in the stomach feeling that I had in my youth. His love letters melted my heart and reading them over and over again put my self esteem on a plateau untouchable.
And then, I went back to work. Three days into it, I started to feel sick. A queasy tummy and repeated headaches. I tried to shake it and managed to push through the week. I was truly contemplating the unthinkable. Resigning after 21 years of service. How crazy is that? Satan was having his way in my mind and drawing me away from what my Prince promised me. That my reward is not here on earth, it does not lie in me being "happy" at work or even comfortable. I can do four more years easy IF I stay focused on my God and not my circumstances.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This I believe and has been proven time and time again. I do nothing in my own because I am nothing on my own.