Friday, February 20, 2009

How to be a parent?

Is there really a right answer? I believe that there just might be one. However, you only get the answer after they've grown up and moved out. At least that's my perspective.

My daughter is 25 and she is the reason that I color my gray every three weeks (lol)
My son is almost 21 and I've always wanted to be like him when I grew up (lol again)

This month they both made their mom's heart very happy. My daughter went to church twice, something I've been praying really hard about. And my son gave me a Valentine that said I was his Valentine before he knew what Valentines were. Oh, I could just cry all over again.

I was a hard working single parent and we had a lot of struggles along the way. If it weren't for my son's father wanting to raise him, I don't know if I would have made it at all. I didn't know that Law Enforcement would change the trajectory of my life and I didn't know that my daughter would inherit her father's genes. But after it's all said and done, I wouldn't have it any other way. She is finding her way and it's not by me forcing it. It's by the light that I have over me as the Lord directs my steps. She has noticed it and she wants a light of her own. I bought her a bible and she admitted that she still doesn't read it, but in time that will come. I'm certain of it. My son is living his dream and designing windows in a major department store and I'm still envious that he loves his job while his mom is still wondering when her turn will come.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit about my kids. I remember in my past life having so much anger and resentment towards my mom and she finally told me that she did the best she could. I didn't accept that excuse at the time and once I mended fences with her, I took a look at my children and realized that it wasn't an excuse, it was simply the truth. We all do the best we can with what we know and with what we have.

Have a blessed day and if you are a parent, you know that there are no right answers, but there is hope!


Shaz said...

There really are no right answers or book to raising children in today’s society. My daughter will be 21 this year and yes, I was a teen mother. If you ask my daughter she would tell you I was strict mother and she had no Two years ago I received a call from her, she wanted to thank me for raising her the right way, to be responsible and considerate, and to wash her clothes and clean up properly (smile). At that moment I knew she would be ok and my job was almost done. My daughter, who lives in FL, will be graduating from college next spring with a degree in Hospitality Management.

BTW – you have an award waiting for you at my blog. :)

crochet lady said...

One of the prayers I find myself repeating so often is - Lord please don't let my mistakes cause them harm, cover those rough spots with love and somehow make good out of my fumblings.

I'm so glad you're daughter is turning towards the light and your son was able to bless you. I know adulthood for my oldest is only a few years away, but right now I still can't imagine him in that spot yet.

I wish I knew how to do the award thing, cause I'd give you one. I'll have to figure that out.

Toia said...

You would think at the very moment when you give birth to your first child or after being discharged from the hospital, you will get some kind parenting manual, the do's and don'ts of some sort. But just our luck, we don't.

Parenting is absolutely a daily learning process. We would never know all the right answers. We can only do the best we can with the help of our Lord Jesus.

Thanks so much for sharing about your children. I enjoy reading your post today. Stay Bless and Stay Strong!!

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Ladies, thank you for visit today. Thanks especially for your comments as well. I am proud that they are respectful young adults and that we always end the conversations with "I love you." I know that when the Lord calls me home, they will have comfort in knowing that they were deeply loved by their mom.

Isn't that the most important gift?

Have a great weekend and I really feel blessed to have such a steady following.

Love to you!
The butterfly

PAK ART said...

We raised our children as best we knew how...that's how we all do it. The only advantage I think we had is that we had the bible as a guide. There was definate right and wrong in our home. Making fun of people is wrong. Being nice to the new kid is right. Turn the other cheeck when needed. Be a good example. So many little lessons that add up to being a kind, respectable, contributing member of society. However, our daughter went the wild way when she left home - it broke my heart. However, three years later she is in the process of returning to God. I do believe that if you raise them up in the way they should go, they will return. Our son never felt that need to rebel and has continued in a good path. He and his wife are attending bible college with the intent to be missionaries. I couldn't be more proud. My daughter will find her way - I'm confident of that.

thank you for sharing about your kids - I'm a newer reader. I didn't know you had children.

Joyfulsister said...

Hey Sis,
I can so relate to this post, my daughter is 26 and raised in church, I'm still praying she will one day return to church and to her first love. I guess we try our best but sometimes they need to spread their wings and though we might not like the paths they take, we still love and pray for

Hugz Lorie

Parkay said...

Hey sweetie pie, I know its been a while but as always, reading your post is a great uplift for anyone who reads it. I can truly relate to how you are feeling concerning your children. I have two sons, 36 and 26. Yes, they are 10 years a part, almost born on the same day, have two completely different sides to them and then they are just alike. Did I plan to have kids that far apart. Heck no, that's just the way it happened. Me and boys have been through many trials and I was a single mom for the most part. Single parents have many things they have to deal with especially if the other parent is missing in action. We still have to adapt to any situation that comes along and most times alone. We still do the best we can irregardless. I must say that both of my boys have grown into very fine proud men. They are raising their own families now and it tickles me when I hear them telling their kids some of the same things I said to them. They always tell me now how grateful they are to have me as their mom/dad. Yes I get father day cards too.

So Congratulations Mommy Dearest! From the way it sounds you did a teriffic job with your children despite the changes you all had to go through.

May God continue to Bless you Free Spirit. PEACE!